Friday, January 16, 2009


Transform (ation) a: to change in composition or structure b: to change the outward form or appearance of c: to change in character or condition : convert. (as taken from Webster's Dictionary). Becoming a mother is transformative in structure, in outward form or appearance and, in character. Each facet of my life was touched by the transformation of motherhood. Many of these transformations were apparent and many more were latent. Within the last month, 8 months after the birth of my daughter, these latent transformations are blooming. I am slowing down to smell the flowers of this transformation. Some of these transformations are new but many more are current facets of myself which now have the right medium for cultivation. The medium being, motherhood.

Many women are afraid of losing themselves in motherhood. I feel like I am finding myself, again, in motherhood. Over the last 7 years I graduated from college and pursued my nursing career in oncology. I began nursing with the naivete of holistic complementary nursing meshing effortlessly with conventional western medicine. I couldn't have been more discouraged. This discouragement transformed into apathy. Within this apathy the spirit of the naive, passionate, holistic young woman slept; waiting patiently to reawake, someday. This someday occured approximately 18 months ago. This is when I became pregnant.

Pregnancy was the catalyst for a cascade of changed which were not really changes at all but regressions back to a younger me, a more hopeful me, a me who was in touch